As a year has passed since I left Jewish Care, I thought it opportune to take stock.
While I left in October 2011, the process of change started three months before. That timeframe exacerbated the level of stress I felt and by the time I left I was wrecked, physically, mentally and emotionally. Going straight into another job with that level of baggage wasn’t the most sensible thing I’ve ever done. That said, I found out pretty quickly that the black art of t-shirt printing really wasn’t for me.
So what have I done courtesy of being made redundant? Let’s start with what I haven’t done. I didn’t seek counselling or any employment assistance although both were offered by friends. I felt from the beginning that I needed to work this out for myself, that any gains I made would be stronger that way. For me it was the right move; others have chosen different paths. As mentioned in a previous blog, I also realised early on that no-one owed me anything nor would anyone do anything to help me. Not quite true but a healthy attitude. When you’re employed you have the safety net of a job even if you’re disgruntled and looking to move on. Once out of a job you have to learn to stand on your own two feet – and quickly.
Once I had made the decision not to return to full-time employment, I also made the decision to work to my skill strengths. Unfortunately the world has moved on! Even though I have a 25-year history as a journalist, my areas of writing (music and computing) have been superseded by blogs and on-line news and features. Many of the paper-based magazines I wrote for no longer exist and those that do have very small budgets and a small group of loyal writers.
I spent 10 years as a maths teacher followed by 10 years in commercial publishing. The market for the latter may have contracted but certainly not the former. There are numerous local secondary schools looking for maths teachers and had I wanted a full-time job, I could have had my pick. Instead I went down the tutoring route, something I had taken seriously throughout my teaching career. For me, one-to-one tutoring is real teaching. I don’t have to be concerned about discipline or trying to engage all pupils in a classroom. There’s also less admin work though with over 15 students, I take the work very seriously and do far more planning than I ever used to!
The real godsend for me has been gumtree. I found my tutoring agencies through gumtree along with an ad for Mad Science and the radio room for the Olympics. It’s a real treasure trove as long as you don’t mind trawling through thousands of ads to find the right ones for you.
Swings and roundabouts
So what have I lost in the past 12 months? For starters, a regular income and job security. More importantly, the camaraderie of being part of a team: I miss the team I spent years working with. I’ve also lost the daily routine that anyone in a full-time job has.
What have I gained? Time and choice. The time to do things I haven’t been able to for years and the choice of where, when and whom I work for. Prior to six months ago I had never worked with primary school-aged children. Now I teach maths to ten-year-olds sitting secondary school entrance exams and ‘mad’ science to much younger kids. It is difficult to put into words how fulfilling this is. I still tutor GCSE students too. And had I been employed full-time I would never have been involved with the Olympics, an experience I will treasure.
I’ve also gained three tattoos but let’s not dwell on those!
The highs and lows are more dynamic now than when I was employed. On days when I’m on my own I can get quite low. When I’m tutoring or in a classroom doing science experiments the satisfaction can be huge. I frequently come home from such work feeling that I have the best job in the world!
Am I still angry at my redundancy? Yes, especially the process I went through. Have all the decisions I’ve made over the past 12 months been the right ones? Most of them. I’ve turned down one or two opportunities and then wondered whether I made the correct decision but so far, so good. Will I ever get a full-time job again? I hope not!
To those of you who have shown faith in me, both personally and professionally, over the past 12 months, thank you. Your support has meant a lot to me. Don’t forget to email me or pick up the phone occasionally!
three tattoos Vic?
Fraid so!
e-mail you ‘occasionally’? Every bloody day mate.
for your sins.